“[Triathlon] is ninety percent mental and the other half is physical.” -Yogi Berra
I’ll admit, Yogi probably wasn’t talking about triathlon. But the mind games that come with any sport are universal.
As I spend my weekend recovering for my first triathlon of the season I can feel the weight of expectation. It’s just not where I thought it would come from.
For the first time I am entering a race as defending champion (it is a lot of fun to write that sentence). I know Steve King will talk about me and will declare me a pre-race favourite (also fun to hear) as he has before for everyone else competing to hear. But that doesn’t bother me.
I’ve been racing long enough to know now that so much of what it takes to win a race is out of my control. Mistakes by officials counting laps, mechanical issues, and who else is actually racing are among hundreds of factors that I have had go both for and against me at various races.
There is also pressure knowing that I will be going head to head with training mates Rob and Jeff. The trash talk has been plentiful all week. There is even a beer on the line along with highly prestigious bragging rights. But as much as I want to beat them, that isn’t weighing on me either.
Again, I have no control over how hard they have worked over the winter and how much faster they are getting. I could race better than I ever have and get beat by them having an even better day. That’s racing.
I want to win. I know I can win. But can I see myself walking away from the race happy even if I don’t. There is only one way I walk away unhappy:
Not living up to my own expectations for my performance.
It is all the work I have put in that lately that has my expectations so high. I have put in more time and done so more consistently this winter than I ever have. It is the fear that these hours will not have produced what I expected that worries me. I know that one race does not make or break a season but I feel like I need some vindication for the work I’ve done.
I’d like to beat the boys. I’d like to win. But I need something, no matter how small, to take away that says, “keep at it, you’re on the right track”. And it’d be fun if I can get myself DQ’d temporarily again for being too fast on the bike too.
